Winter frame of mind

Time flies when you are having fun, or does it?  It seems 2 months have gone by and I haven't posted anything, yet I feel I have nothing to post... So I look at my blog and think to myself , 'okay, Christmas is over and you really should do another post', but what do I have to say?  Nothing.  Really, nothing is going on in my life that is worth talking about...the weather?  Well, winter is finally making its presence known... a month and a half of decent temps without any snow is kinda newsworthy, isn't it? 
The family?  Roger is getting called in more and more and it seems exciting, except I have this doom and gloom feeling that it will end and we will be back to struggling again. Living in the parent's basement isn't something you can be proud of at any age let alone being 'middle-aged'.  If we could just get the hubby to the 'full-time employee' status, I would be more enthusiastic about looking for a place to call our own again...it seems lately it may happen, but me and my negative thinking keeps us from that. I call it cautionary, others may see it as lazy, but I have a bad habit of determining the future before it happens. Too many times I have felt comfortable only to have it come back to bite me, so forgive me if I am fearful of taking that "leap of faith". Sometimes bad things happen to good people, and the bad things just keep happening.
I guess most times I try to paint a different picture.  Reality sucks almost always and I have become very cynical  in the last three years.  Should we have stayed in Georgia?  Probably.  Would I have been happy staying there?  Probably not.  I wanted to be closer to my family. That is important to me. Did I think things would fall into place if we moved back to Utah? Yes.  I really did feel in my heart that it was the right thing to do at the time.  Did I think it would be as hard as it has been to find full time employment for the two of us?  No.  I figured I would find something quicker than Roger, but didn't think it would take 2 1/2 years to find (part-time) employment. I also knew that we wouldn't make as much money as we did in Georgia.. I didn't realize that it would be as low as it is, either.  Am I glad I came back home to Utah?  It depends.  I got what I wanted (to be closer to my family) but I have lost my independence.  Is that a good price to pay? I really don't know right now. 
I may feel better in a couple more months and be in a better frame of mind. For now, let's just chalk it up to the winter blues.