Kaylee

Kaylee.  My niece.  She is 18 and has, for many years, thought of herself as an adult.  In part, that is true.  She had to grow up fast due to the environment she grew up in.  Her home life was not the best. I guess you can call it a broken home.  She was witness to abuse, drugs, alcohol and ultimately, divorce. She and her Mom left a bad situation and came home to Utah several years ago for a fresh start.  It was very difficult for Kaylee to leave her friends and come to a place where she knew no one.  She didn't like it here, and she wasn't the type to try to like it, either.  School was not easy for her.... she is very smart, but lacked the motivation to try, so she struggled.  She looked to friends who also lacked the motivation needed to succeed in school.  I worried about her choice in friends, activities, and future.  If you tried to talk about what she should be doing, she would do the exact opposite.  It is very frustrating to watch someone (seemingly on purpose) throw her future away by trying to show you that she would do anything and everything she wanted to do, and there isn't anything you can do about it.

Teenagers are interesting.  I don't remember being moody, depressed, snotty, silly, giggly and loud all in the matter of one hour.  I learned that they can be fun and talkative one minute and then pissed off and give the cold shoulder the next.  I learned you have thousands of eggshells beneath your bare feet and have to walk very carfully around them. 

Fortunately, I am not her Mom.  LOL.  I think I might have ended up either in prison or a mental institution if she had been mine!  I struggled daily watching her waste her life away hanging out with friends I didn't think were worthy of her.  That was my problem...a problem I had to deal with and "let go of" as it were.  So I finally came to the realization that it wasn't for me to decide who she would be, what friends she should have, or how (or if) she would finish High School.  I simply "let go". 

Last year, Kaylee was told that she would not be allowed to come back for her senior year if she didn't get certain credits done. I guess it must have been the kick in the pants she needed to get herself motivated to finish school, because she worked through the summer taking online classes and tests and it must have helped, because she was allowed to come back for her senior year. Not only that, but her counselor told her that if she took a CNA course, she would have enough credits by March to graduate early!  What???  Well, if not coming back for her final year wasn't motivating enough, the thought of getting out 2 months early certainly was!  She really got her butt in gear and did it... she really did it!  Wow.

I guess she showed me!

Now don't think I have actually completely "let go".  I still think she can do amazing things if she puts her mind to it.  I still want good things for her.  I still think she needs to have good friends surrounding her and uplifting her, but I can let her make her mistakes and know that she will (hopefully) learn from them just as I have, for I do remember thinking I knew everything at the ripe age of 18, too!

 She really did show me.


 Congratulations, Kaylee !  I love you.